To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
