I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
tonight lets celebrate not being married
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
Randomize
