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• (313): View more from Michigan

  I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy

  (1-313): View more from Michigan

  You shut your mouth

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• (417): View more from Missouri

  on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.

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• (609): View more from New Jersey

  There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled

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• (925): View more from California

  you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race

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• (559): View more from California

  Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston

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• (248): View more from Michigan

  Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.

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• (703): View more from Virginia

  can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?

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• (978): View more from Massachusetts

  Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.

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• (856): View more from New Jersey

  I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering

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• (715): View more from Wisconsin

  I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.

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• (802): View more from Vermont

  He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is

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• (314): View more from Missouri

  Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore

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• (905): View more from Ontario

  I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.

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• (508): View more from Massachusetts

  I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.

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• (732): View more from New Jersey

  I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.

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