Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
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