i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
she pinky promised me she was 18
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
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