no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
Randomize
