I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
Randomize
