How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
