It's like a parade of train wrecks.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
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