Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
I can't put those talents on a resume
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
