i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
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