Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
i've created a new STD.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
Randomize
