Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
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