im six kinds of drunk right now
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
you had me at cake vodka
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
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