Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
Randomize
