it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
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