I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
