I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Randomize
