im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
