your room smells of hookers.
And success
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
no you cant smoke seaweed
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
We need a shit load of segways right now
i think my cat just said my name.
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
Randomize
