there were more penises there than on chat roulette
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
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