Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
Randomize
