how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
