Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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