he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
I love you. Go after that dick
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
