I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize
