I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
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