just survived the first fart of the relationship.
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
