ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
Randomize
