Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
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