In the future we'll all be gay
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Randomize
