Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
Come see our sink grown plant.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Randomize
