Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
Randomize
