Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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