I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
Randomize
