Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Randomize
