And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
