she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
