you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
Randomize
