dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
