Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
Randomize
