i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Randomize
