Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
