what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
Heard at work: Get out of my face before I cuntpunch you so hard your granddaughters have miscarriages. I love my job.
I'm moving there. Get me hired.
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
I just want nice things and good sex
Randomize
