I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
Randomize
