they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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