Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
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