did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
