Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
Never underestimate the power of titties
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