Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
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